Tag Archives: opportunity

Ladies, Ask for What you Want


Over the years I have developed a pretty deep network and one of the things that I spend a lot of time doing is up dating my database.  In the process of doing that this week I noticed that my strongest referral relationships are with guys.  So I began to think about that, why are there more males in my strong contact network instead of women and here are some of the things that I came up with.

When I sit down with a guy to build a referral relationship the conversation tends to be straight forward.  When I ask the question, “What can I do to help you grow your business?”  They almost always have a response.   They let me know exactly what it is I can do; “You can help me get more speaking engagements” or “If you do a newsletter it would be great if you would let me put an article in it.”

On the other hand if when I sit down with a female referral source and ask the same question I am often given this response; “I can’t think of anything but if I do I will let you know.”

Women seem to be challenged at knowing what they need and asking others to help them.  We feel that we cannot ask others to do things for us.  After all, have been raised to believe that it is our responsibility to take care of others, we do things for our spouses, our children, our family members even our co-workers.

One of the tough things for women to do it is ASK for what they want, clearly, succintly without guilt.  It is something that we really must learn if we are ever going to be good at leveraging our networks.  Keep in mind, we are not going to ask anyone for anything that we wouldd not do in return for them if they would ask.

Take a moment and ask yourself the following questions:

1.  What 2-3 things could I ask others to do to help me?  If you know in advance what kinds of things your networking members can do for you it will be easier for you to ask them when you are sharing a cup of coffee.

2.  List 3-4 people you would like to meet or be connected to.  Your network members are happy to connect you if you ask for someone specifically instead of “Anyone who needs my services.”  These might be professionals you want to add to your network, possible referral sources or potential clients.

3.  Make a list of the 4-5 people who might be willing to help you.  Most likely these are people in your network whom you have a relationship with.  They are people whom you are also willing to help if they ask you to.

It is important that you ask for what you want, there are members of your network who are more than happy to help you but they will not figure it out for you or take the initiative.  Our beliefe that “If they like me or if I do a good job for them, they will help me, refer me or connect me” hurts us.  We get what we ask for, if we wait for people to help us it may never happen.


How Can I Help You?

How many times have you done a one to one, or met with someone and meeting finishes with this statement….”Let me know if there is anything I can do for you.” Or “Is there anything that I can do to help you?”

We simply say, send me leads, or referrals or we say something like this “I can’t think of anything right now, but I will let you know if I do.” What a lost opportunity. People can help you in more ways than just passing referrals or leads, here are a list of things that you can do for one another that will help each of you.

1. You could put an article about my services in your newsletter, I will do the same for you.
2. You could invite me to a networking opportunity that you may be going to.
3. You could nominate me for an award it would build my credibility
4. You could attend an event with me; it would create visibility for both of us.
5. You could display my information or products in your office or store.
6. You could mention me in your blog.
7. You could read my blog and comment, and then link to my blog.
8. You could introduce me to your network
9. You could write an article for my newsletter
10. You could invite your best client to our chapter so I could meet them.
11. You could WRITE me a great testimonial that I could used in my materials.
12. You could put my brochure or information in your client mailings.

There are so many other things that we can do for each other that will add value to our business. Instead of always asking for a referral, ask for something else. People are more than willing to help you, just give them other opportunities. Give me a list of other things that you would value and could ask for.

: If you ask others to do it for you, then you must be willing to reciprocate.